The happiness you get from doing something for someone else >>> any other kind of happiness
This happiness is probably the best kind of happiness. It’s just so pure and almost selfless.
But why isn’t entirely selfless, though? You decide to make your sister’s bed and I say that’s not selfless?
Well, yes and no.
As thoughtful of an act it is to do something for someone – like making their bed, getting them a snack, watering their plants or waiting for them while they’re tying their shoelace – it’s not entirely for them.
You get something out of it too. You see them happy and it fills you up with warmth and happiness too. What you get is the happiness from anticipating their happiness.
It’s kind of selfish (but in a good way) because you want to do something nice, not only because they’d be happy, but because it makes you happy too. Unconsciously, you’re looking out for yourself too.
As special as it is to be happy in doing something for someone, it’s a feeling you need to start getting for yourself too.
If we can get happy by doing something nice for someone else, imagine the contentment and peace you’d get if you did it for yourself.
There’s just one thing that you need to do to get the same feeling for yourself.
You need to see yourself as two different individuals – your past self and your future self. It’s really that simple.
Now just treat those two individuals differently.
Live in the moment in a way that you are spoiling your future self with all the love and pampering them by doing everything right for them, on time.
Spoiling your future self (FS) can look like:
- Making your bed so that FS has a nice bed laid out to sleep on
- Cleaning your room
- Preparing and planning in advance so that FS does not have to run around at the end moment
- Studying during the entire year so FS does not have multiple breakdowns.
- Doing the things you hate, but you should be doing, so that your FS can reap its benefits
Similarly, treating your past self (PS) can look like being grateful to it. Sit in your neatly bed, grab a book from the bookshelf your PS arranged and sink in its gratitude. Be thankful to yourself for whatever your PS did earlier and how it’s making your life easier now.
Imagining yourself as these two individuals may not make doing hard things easier, but it’ll increase the motivation to do it. There’s someone on the other side that you want to see happy and relaxed.
You’re doing it for them, even when you’re doing it for yourself; you’re doing it for yourself, even when you’re doing it for someone else.
Hope this gave some new perspective of self-love.
Hat tip to Muchelleb for inspiring this post.
Recap for memory:
- Nothing can beat the happiness that you get from doing something nice for someone else.
- Spoil your future self
- Thank your past self
Hmm..need to do something to make FS happy ..
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