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Traveling Back To The Past

Traveling Back To The Past

Dec 4, 2022 | 1 comment

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If you’ve been here for quite some time now, you’d probably know I’m a bookworm.

While I don’t exclude any particular genre from my reading list, I kinda favor heartwarming fiction books.

One such book – Before the Coffee Gets Cold – was the latest book read. (To those who intend to read this book – while there’d be no spoilers, this post will mention the essence of the book, so proceed at )

It’s about a cafe that lets you travel back in time.

Sounds pretty cool and complicated, isn’t it?

Well, it’s not as cool, or complicated for that matter as it sounds.

While the cafe fulfills its promise of transporting you back in time, it has its own set of rules (there always are rules, aren’t there?).

For starters (pun intended), you have a time limit, and you can’t leave the cafe, or the chair you’re sitting on. But the most crucial of them all is the rule that says, no matter what you do in the past, you can’t change the present.

This rule defeats the entire purpose of time travel, don’t you think? What’s the point if you can’t change anything?

Well, there are two points actually, not just one.

First is that even though you can’t change the past or the present, there’s something that’s yet to happen – the future (did I really just give a definition of future?). Even if your present is at its absolute worst you can still make choices that promise you a better future. The future may seem like a far-off and distant concept, but it’s important to remember that the future is always unfolding. Even in the darkest of times, we have the power to shape our destiny and create a better tomorrow.

The second motive to go back to the past is to understand it. Revisiting our past in different circumstances makes us view the story from another perspective, hence giving us the option to change the narrative. It doesn’t change anything in the physical world in the present but it makes a change in your heart, and how you see others and that’s all that’s required. While a depressive episode seems like the worst part of your life, the future version of you is seeing it as a learning opportunity. Looking back on things allows us to see the bigger picture from a third-person point of view, which we couldn’t see earlier because at that time we were in the picture.

These two lessons, apart from the abundance of human emotion, made me fall in love with this book. This thing has made me feel after a long time. Not feel good, or feel bad, just not feel numb.

P. S. Would you go back in time even if you couldn’t change anything?

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Why You Need To Let Go

Why You Need To Let Go

Nov 27, 2022 | 1 comment

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Anger is a natural emotion, but it’s important to deal with it in a healthy way.

We’ve all felt it – the heat rising to your face and neck, the knot in your stomach, or the tightness in your chest. Be it someone who’s wronged you, or a situation that’s out of your control, the feeling of anger is all too familiar.

Anger is a very real emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. But how we choose to act on our anger can have lasting consequences for both ourselves and those around us.

Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick

Everyone knows just how destructive anger and resentment can be. Once it takes hold, it can leave us feeling hurt, isolated, and unable to move on with our lives. But often the only thing anger brings is temporary relief and greater pain down the road. The truth is that holding onto anger isn’t really hurting the other person; it’s hurting you instead- like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick! A far healthier approach is to recognize that lingering bitterness will only hold you back, and take steps to let go of your negative feelings. Only then can you make progress toward forgiving the past, healing your wounds, and living your best life.

Forgiveness is not about condoning the other person’s behavior, it’s about freeing yourself from the pain they’ve caused you

Most of us have had the experience of being hurt by someone, and it can be a tricky situation. Lingering on this pain and anger is damaging to our individual well-being, as well as our relationships. This is where forgiveness comes in; it doesn’t necessarily involve condoning bad behavior or forgetting what happened, but rather allowing yourself to free yourself from the burden of being held by a negative past event. When forgiving somebody for a mistake or misdeed, focus not on how their behavior impacts you, but instead release those negative feelings and forgive them for your own benefit — this will not only give them an opportunity to make amends but also help heal any shared wounds. By letting go of these toxic emotions, we can open ourselves up to healthier relationships with those around us and allow ourselves to get back in touch with our true selves. It’s not a decision made lightly, and it takes courage to let go. So don’t think of forgiveness as a surrendering of justice, but instead as an act of love for yourself that strengthens your relationships and achieves peace of mind in the long run.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to be friends with the person who hurt you, but it does mean that you’re no longer allowing them to control your life

To forgive a person who has hurt you is to free yourself from the negative emotions and power that they have over you. It does not mean that the relationship between you must be the same, or that you must accept their actions; indeed, it might be sensible to stay away from them to maintain your own safety. Instead, forgiveness allows you to take back control of your life and emotions. You do not let their words and deeds affect how you chose to live day-to-day. External events are no longer in control of your internal well-being. Although forgiveness can take significant effort depending on the context, it is ultimately empowering: it liberates you from negative influences, releasing energy for living. To forgive does not necessarily involve reconciliation with those who harmed us, but it enables us to reclaim our lives in spite of them.

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It Hurts More If You’re Already Sore

It Hurts More If You’re Already Sore

Nov 20, 2022 | 0 comments

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A few days back I was having a conversation with my friends about being hurt by everyday (hopefully not intending to belittle anyone) comments by peers. You know, the teasing kind made by your friends that are for just kicks and giggles.

I know that those remarks are not meant to be taken seriously. If you took everything to heart, no one would be able to make it beyond one day without breaking down. (This isn’t to downplay manipulation or toxic comments, just talking about the ones that are teasing and you know they don’t mean to depreciate you. If it genuinely hurts you, let the other person know.)

That made me wonder why we take some light-hearted remarks literally but not others.

It’s because somewhere you’re already hurt about that topic and even the smallest of comments hits you like a ton of bricks.

It hurts more if you’re already sore.

I first came across this idea in a book called ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’.

It said, “All variants of voluntary effort – cognitive, emotional, or physical – draw at least partly on a shared pool of mental energy.”

To put it simply – mental, emotional, and physical effort share the same energy reserve to an extent. All three kinds of tasks use energy from the same pool.

This is why, when you’re already hurt about something (that is, have depleted your energy pool), the most insignificant comments are more burdening because the resources are already low. You already believe something negative about yourself to be true and the comment jut adds to it.

You might think that you throw around the term “mental energy” as a metaphor, but it’s a very real thing backed by science. The nervous system aka your brain consumes more glucose (the primary source of energy for our body) than most other parts of the body. Mental activity is therefore much more energy-consuming than we think and emotional stress drains your energy. Literally. Quote this to anyone who tells you mental health and mental energy are just trendy terms.

Moreover, it’s not that being physically exhausted will affect you physically only, and mentally exhausted will affect you mentally only. Since the energy reserves are the same to an extent, being mentally tired could lead to you being more tired physically and vice-versa. 

This means being tired, hungry, and sleepy can lead you to make bad decisions and respond poorly to situations (PSA no one wants to hear – This is why quality sleep and nutrition are crucial).


Recap for memory:

  1. It hurts more if you’re already sore.
  2. If your energy pool is already depleted (mentally, physically, or emotionally), it’s gonna be harder to perform other tasks efficiently. 
  3. And mental energy is a real thing.

P. S. As mentioned earlier if someone passes ill-intentioned comments that talk down to you, speak to them about it and tell them you’re not gonna accept any sh*t from anyone.

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The World Isn’t Out To Get You.

The World Isn’t Out To Get You.

Nov 13, 2022 | 2 comments

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Lately, I’ve been doing more and more things out of my comfort zone.

Things like picking up my sister from school, getting groceries, running errands, riding a scooty, and going out with people other than my closest friends.

They seem like mundane tasks with nothing special about them; truthfully speaking, they aren’t anything special.

Almost all of them are one-person jobs and involving another doesn’t make sense.

It’s just that I find them out of my comfort zone because I’m neither used to nor comfortable being alone.

Does the world seem scary? Yes. But is it truly that scary? No. 

Your mind genuinely plays tricks  on you and makes things seem worse than they are.

But’s not your fault.

Over the years, as a result of evolution we’ve been wired that way. When faced with danger, like a lion in caveman times, all we knew was fight or flight (although there’s freeze, fawn, flop too).

But our danger isn’t a lion anymore.

It’s your teacher, your job, your colleague, your partner, it could be anything or anyone that stresses you out.

All you need to overcome this useful yet faulty response, is to get out of your head. Not saying it’d be easy, cause it probably won’t be. Your brain will tempt you to avoid it, and it’ll feel agonizing but know that all of that agony isn’t happening to you. It’s an illusion created by your mind.

Just know that you can do it. Once you power through the illusions and temptations you’ll know that the world isn’t out to get you.

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My Biggest Achievement This Week

My Biggest Achievement This Week

Nov 6, 2022 | 4 comments

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Little life update: I drove a scooty by myself for the first time ever this weekend. Might not seem like a big deal to those who know how to drive a scooty but it’s an achievement for me 😂😂

I don’t actually have a scooty but my uncle (who lives not even 2 minutes away in walking distance terms) does. I had dropped by his place and saw the scooty. 

In theory, I knew how to drive it – I had learned it last year – but never got to practice because no one would take the chance to sit behind a driver who didn’t know how to drive. And tbh, doing it alone just seemed scary.

Until… I did it.

Yesterday, a tiny voice inside me said, “Do it. If you’re not gonna trust yourself then who is?”

So I took the keys and started the scooty. It was a bit jerky at first because I was so nervous but after going around the block once, I got the hang of it.

It felt liberating, to be honest. Like I had accomplished something.

And it all started with that tiny voice inside me saying,  “Do it.”

You think that you need to know it all before starting something new. But that’s not true.

The best way to learn is by taking action and doing it.

You’ll make mistakes, sure. But you’ll also learn from them and become better.

So listen to the tiny voice inside you and take action today. It might just be the best decision you ever make. 

Recap for memory:

  1. Do things alone if you don’t have anyone to do them with i.e. drive a scooty, go out to eat, etc.
  2. Clarity comes after taking action.
  3. Listen to the tiny voice inside you.

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Different Seasons In Life For Different Things

Different Seasons In Life For Different Things

Oct 30, 2022 | 1 comment

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As we go through life, we experience different seasons. Just as the four seasons of the year bring different changes in the weather, so too do the four seasons of life bring different changes in our emotions and experiences.

I came across this phrase in a podcast where the host said, “there are different seasons in life for different things.”

This autumn with the release of Taylor Swift’s Midnights album, the urge to wrap myself in a blanket and listen to her songs while drinking coffee has become overwhelming. I have never felt the desire to be by myself and just listen to music like this.

But I think it’s because I’m in a different season of life

A season where I don’t need the constant hustle and bustle of being around people all the time.

A season where I can appreciate the simpler things in life, like a good cup of coffee and a great song.

It made me think about how there are indeed different seasons in life, and how important it is to understand them. Just as we have different seasons in the year, we also have different seasons in our lives. There will be times for planting and times for harvesting. There will be times of growth and times of rest.

There have been times in my life when it felt like everything was moving forward at a million miles an hour. These have been the times when I have been planted and have been able to put down roots. There have also been times when it felt like everything has come to a standstill. There have been when I needed to rest and rejuvenate myself. And then there are the times when it feels like everything is happening all at once and I am being pulled in a million different directions. These have been the times when I have needed to focus on my own growth.

Just as it is essential to understand the changing seasons of the year, it is also essential to understand the changing seasons of life. By doing so, we can flow with the changes and transitions that occur rather than resist them. We can also prepare for what is to come and make the most of each season we find ourselves in.

 

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